With the wonders of miracle fertilization drugs and a God gracious enough to implant uteruses in men, Coonesville has three more youngins to look upon in admiration.

In an all but normal visit to Huddle House,

...I didn't know what the hell was going on! I was just telling the man about my new tazmanian devil seat covers I bought at the Dollar General, and he just dropped everything and took off for the baffroom. I thought for sure he'd wanna hang around a little longer to check them out after I got off! I wanted that fine man to help me break 'em in, if ya know what I'm meanin'...."

Mr. Washington continues.

"I was just sittin there chit-chattin' with Shirley, soaking up the hashbrown juices with my biscuit, when my intestines done started doing cartwheels over my butthole... I ain't EVER had to shit so bad in my life..."

The following depiction may be a little too graphic for our younger readers.

"...After I made it to the toilet, I dropped my pants as fast as I could but I think my inards were already on the way out.

Mr. Washington, who has also been fighting inevitable weight gain from midnight cravings of ice cream and beef jerky, was pleased to find that the whole ordeal cost him 85 lbs.

"...Not only that, but that hottie Shirley gave me my meal free! wooooo heeeee!!!"