Random Trashiness
Charley Bob Thorne Horne
Me and my 7 kids (I calls them my lucky 7) live in an old but nice camper trailer down by the creek. That ways we have runnin water. I ams the furst person in my family to finish the 7th grade. I tries to set examples for my kids, tellin them if I can do it, they can to. My lucky 7 live with me cause their mommas won't have nuthing to do with them. I keeps tellin my sister and cuzins that it ain't the kidses fault, and they needs their mommas in their lifes, but the still won't come around. I ain't askin for no symphony. We has it pretty good with the nice cold water from the creek, and I put a toilet seat out over the water so as not to stink up the yard. With plenty of dead wood in the woods, we build a fire to cook and stay warm. Tho it does get a little chily sleepin on the ground sometimes, since we aint got no heat in the reckreationul vehicular, cause the power company don't run elektricty this far out.
« view profile »
Praise Baby Jesus!
Kinsfolk
Local News
Coonesville Children's Spring Play a Huge Success
Highlighting the evening was Jimmy Wallace, better known as "Little Armless Jimmy", who shot a PETA activist on his family's farm back in December.
Jimmy played the character of "Lewis" an adventurer and avid archer in the play. In an Oscar potential performance, "Little Armless Jimmy" shot an arrow through the neck of classmate Bubba Jones, who was playing the part of a homosexual hillbilly trying to sodomize his friend.
Mrs. Amelia Opal Grayson, head librarian of the Coonesville Community Library, directed the play. When asked why Jimmy was chosen for the part, Mrs. Grayson replied, "I was more curious to see if dat boy could do it, being one of dem freaks and all... I still can't believe he shot that hippy by pulling the trigger wit' his tongue!"
The proceeds of the evening reached a grand total of $22.37, all of which went to the National Rifle Association's Coonesville chapter whose latest endeavor is trying to lift the 5-day waiting period when buying guns. Other classics in the works at the elementary school for performance later in the year include "Charlotte's Web", "Old Yeller", and everyone's favorite "Texas Chainsaw Massacre."
Starletta "Heat-n-Serve" Donoho says:
"...Just you wait, Baby, it's coming!!!... The new PorkGravy v3.0 is gonna put hair on yur chest!!! Hot Damn!..."